WRITTEN BY Shmuel T. Adler:

 

NOTE: The ocean of bitachon is vast and deep. Any mistaken ideas which are expressed in this article which are not quoted from a source should be attributed to the author.

There was a period in my life when I had gone through a series of extremely difficult challenges. I struggled to keep myself going. I imagined myself being swung back and forth hanging by a string dangling from G-d’s hands. My approach to these feelings was that of an unhappy acceptance. I did not like at all the idea of being swung back and forth by this string but I knew I had to be strong. I tried to accept it and deal with it as best as I was able.

A few years down the road I went through even more difficult circumstances albeit now I had a broader view and perspective of my life. The fog blocking my vision had cleared. After having the chance to think about it I was able to see how in the end, the difficult circumstances brought a lot of good into my life. Things which a few years back I had wished and dreamt about were now happening – as a result of what I had gone through. With the help of some contemplation I realized that though it was extremely challenging, being swung back and forth hanging by a string dangling from G-d’s hand was very much to my benefit!

It then hit me that if it is G-d holding the other end of that string swinging me dangling back and forth, it was something I could feel secure about. Little by little I came to look forward to the idea that G-d was holding me by that string! Every time I thought about myself dangling from the string, instead of getting upset and then having to fight my emotions, I appreciated it. It changed my whole perspective.

The aforementioned idea is not one which comes served on a silver platter. A lot of the time, particularly at the moment during when difficulties occur, this idea is hard to embrace. During my moments of difficulty I didn’t even try to think in this direction. But after things settled down and I had a moment to think, then I was able to see that the pieces of my life were falling into place. Even if not all the pieces returned to their place it was enough to make me feel enveloped in these feelings of security and appreciation. Of course we don’t understand everything G-d does but quite often when we search we will see a lot of good that came about from the difficulties we went through.

Working to attain this view point can prove to be extremely comforting during the course of ones struggles through tragedy and hard times; even regular simple day to day struggles. At first it may be difficult to admit that there are aspects of good to ones difficulties.  However once one thinks objectively and looks closely, many times one will be able to see how it affected and changed their lives in one way or another. Finding these benefits of difficulty and appreciating them has great potential to lighten up one’s battles through life.

Thank you G-d for holding the other end of the string to my life!

It says in Parshas Vayetzei that after a long time of being childless, Rachel Imeinu’s maidservant, Bilhah, gave birth to a son. Rachel named him “Dan”, because as the Torah records “G-d judged her and gave her a son.” Rabbi Y. Adler shlit”a asks, it would seem that the focus of Rachel’s appreciation should be more on the fact that G-d blessed her with a son, not the fact that G-d judged her?! Why did she name her son Dan, which means “judge” representing G-d’s judging her? She should have named him a name such as Nosson meaning “to give” which could represent the main focus, that which G-d gave her a son.

Rabbi Adler answers that that which G-d judged her was actually in fact Rachel’s main focus in naming her son. She was appreciative of the fact that G-d judged her. For now that she knew that G-d had judged her she knew that G-d was paying attention to her. This was what she wanted to bring out when naming this son. Rachel Imeinu knew that if G-d was judging her that meant that he was watching over her and concerned for her welfare. She knew that the more G-d was involved in her life, the better everything would be for her in the large picture. For this she was showing her recognition by naming her son Dan.

This is the same exact idea which we began with. If someone is going through difficulty; Being “judged” by G-d and seemingly hanging dangling from a string held in G-d’s hand, this means that G-d is concerned for their welfare. This is a sign that G-d is extremely close to them and watching over them more carefully than others.

Rabeinu Yona in Shaarei Teshuva says that when a person goes through difficult times he becomes more desirable to G-d. It follows that the more difficulty a person goes through the more desirable to G-d he becomes. The hard times are a sign of G-d’s love and concern. The more difficulty one experiences the more it shows the closer G-d is to them and cares about them and is paying attention to them. Anyone who went through hard times is extra special close to G-d! The more difficulty one went through the more extra special he is to G-d.

We all try our best to have proper concentration during davening. But there are those times when we may daven a tefilla with particular concentration. We feel afterwards that we davened a great tefilla! We feel inspired and as if we were very closely connected to G-d.

This writer would like to share with you a phenomenal thought: The same exact close relationship we feel during such a tefilla – we experience as well during times of difficulty! During difficulty G-d is right near us, holding our hands and enveloping us in his warm embrace!

This is expressed in the following story. Shalom* has a child in the hospital and recently the child was going through a particularly rough time. Shalom went to daven in the morning with a broken heart, concerned for his baby’s well-being. He felt as if he had no emotional and physical strength left. He wearily dragged his feet to the shul and managed to get his talis and tefillin on. He began davening and while talking to G-d he slowly began feeling invigorated. He reached Shmoneh Esrei and all the pain, suffering, and tears he had tried so hard to bottle up came pouring out. He cried his heart out to his Father in Heaven, his entire mind and soul focused on his heartfelt conversation with G-d, ignoring the people around him. After davening he felt refreshed, as if he and his child were given a new lease on life.

 As he finished davening his mind took him back to a fateful day a few months before. His child was not doing well; the doctors felt they were reaching their limits with what they could do to help his child survive. Day by day the baby’s condition worsened. The doctors told him that the only chance his baby had to survive was to undergo a life-threatening procedure. The mortality rate was %50 for a healthy baby. And as the doctor pointed out dryly, Shalom’s baby was not at all a healthy baby. At that point it hit Shalom; you can’t lose hope; there is nothing left to do but to throw all of your faith into G-d’s hand’s. When Shalom had this thought, he suddenly felt a certain calm flood over him. He was still very concerned about his baby, however he felt an extreme closeness to G-d. He felt secure that whatever happened, G-d was there with him, running the show, and taking care that all would be well. The same feelings of connection to G-d which Shalom had just felt now after his heartfelt tefilla, he had felt on that day. He felt refreshed as if he and his baby were given a new lease on life!

When Shalom realized the similarity of the emotions which he had felt at that moment and now after he had that special davening it was if a light had turned on telling him G-d is right there with you during the rough times. He is standing by your side enveloping you in His warm embrace. This brought new life into Shalom, and he felt so relieved to have this comforting idea at his side, facing future struggles.

The posuk in Tehillim says “KaGamul aley Imo, KaGamul alei nafshi”, which means “Like a nursing baby to its mother, so are we to G-d”. R’ Asher Zelig Rubinstein zt”l said that this describes our relationship with G-d. We are enveloped in his tight, warm, loving embrace, the same way a nursing baby is held tightly by its mother! What a heart-warming idea! This is our regular day to day relationship with G-d!; and when one is experiencing hard times they can be sure G-d is right there by their side!

This is the closeness we have with G-d during times of hardship. Difficulties are difficult. However if we strive to connect to the good G-d is giving us in the whole picture, and to tap in to that special closeness we have with G-d at these moments, this will lighten up the heavy weight which rough times threaten to hurl upon us.

* names changed for privacy

L’zchus Refua Sheleima Yehoshua Ben Nechama Aliza; L’iluy Nishmas Chaim Pinchos ben Yaakov Yitzchok