EDITORIAL

By Shmuel Tzvi Adler  

We discussed in Issue #4  the importance of gaining clarity on what truly matters in Hashem’s eyes, as opposed to superficial matters or performance of actions merely to fit in. We can explore this idea further: As we strive to get on the right track, it can be transformative to recognize the immense value Hashem places on seemingly “minor” actions. Even while we are struggling with aveiros, any mitzvah we perform holds unfathomable significance in God’s eyes. Let’s reflect on a couple anecdotes that I heard from Rabbi Reuven Schmeltzer, which can help us internalize this lesson and inspire us with renewed joy and self-worth in our avodas Hashem. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l was once walking with his son, Rav Dovid zt”l, from their house to the yeshiva, MTJ (Mesivta Tiferes Jerusalem). At one point, he turned to his son and asked, “Do you know that there are fifteen hundred steps between our house and the yeshiva?” Rav Dovid, somewhat surprised, asked why his father would ‘waste time’ counting such steps. Rav Moshe explained, “Chazal teach us that a person receives reward for every single step taken in the pursuit of a mitzvah. So, each of those fifteen hundred steps is a mitzvah, and worth counting!” —> Every little bit counts! Still, one might feel that while they’re trying so hard, their actions or accomplishments remain insignificant. Our minds may tell us that unless we are accomplished talmidei chachamim and we have studied all of Shas and complete it regularly, that our efforts are ultimately futile. But the venerable Chofetz Chaim tells us otherwise: There was a bochur who struggled with his learning and was very discouraged. He went to the Chofetz Chaim and shared that woefully he had only managed to learn four pages of Gamara over the past zman. The Chofetz Chaim looked at him and exclaimed, “Wow! Four hundred pages?!” So, the bochur said, “No – only four pages.” Again, the sage repeated, “Four hundred pages! What an accomplishment!” The boy reiterated “four, only four” and they continued back and forth. Finally, the Chofetz Chaim explained, “The Gemara teaches that a mitzvah performed with difficulty and pain is worth a hundred times more than one done with ease. Your four pages, which you struggled so much to learn, are as if you learned four hundred in God’s eyes!” —> God doesn’t measure how far we’ve gotten; rather how much effort we put in. Still, there are times when the yetzer hara overtakes us, leading us to aveiros, and we might feel worthless. NOT SO! A gadol once shared a story about a bochur in yeshiva who was drifting away from Yiddishkeit. The boy had so many challenges and was going through a very difficult time. Eventually, he was heading towards not remaining religious. All of his Rabbeim tried talking to him, but nothing helped. Then, this gadol sat down with him and said, “I’m not here to change your mind. I just want to tell you one thing: no matter what aveiros you do, no matter how far you fall, all the good you’ve done will never be forgotten. Hashem remembers every good deed, and that reward is yours forever.” These words deeply impacted the young man. Ultimately, he returned to Yiddishkeit, and when he found that gadol again, he shared that it was those words that brought him back —> Every good deed we do, no matter how we slip after, gets recorded for eternity. As the astronaut Neil Armstrong famously said, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind!” Similarly, every small step we take toward good, no matter how insignificant it seems, carries immense value in Hashem’s eyes and remains forever!

Three Candies For Trying = A Life Saved!!

by Rabbi Avrohom E. Adler

In the previous issue, we shared the story of a young man who was about to marry a non-Jewish girl, but before going ahead with his plans, he agreed to visit Rabbi Aharon Leib Shteinman zt”l. Upon hearing how this young man had experienced momentary thoughts of teshuva (repentance), Rabbi Shteinman responded with awe, saying, “I envy your reward!” This deeply touched the young man and inspired him to break off his engagement and return to his Jewish roots. He experienced tremendous growth in his Yiddishkeit, ultimately marrying and even learning in Kollel!

He was asked why he had agreed in the first place to meet with R’ Shteinman — after all, he had been distant from Yiddishkeit and had no interest in meeting a Rabbi, even saying “no” at first; so why the change? He explained that hearing R’ Shteinman’s name reminded him of an incident of his youth, which had made a lasting impression on him. In fact, this wasn’t the first time that he had met R’ Shteinman: It was common for teachers to bring students to visit gadolei hador to be tested on their learning; and when he was a child, his Rebbe took the class to Rabbi Shteinman for this very purpose.

The Rav went around the room asking the boys questions. When it was this boy’s turn, he got the answer wrong. He was obviously embarrassed. R’ Shteinman just smoothly continued on to the other boys, eventually returning to this boy to give him a second chance with an easier question. Again, he got it wrong and was additionally embarrassed. R’ Shteinman carried on with the others and subsequently returned to give the boy another chance with an even easier question than before, but he didn’t know this one either. We can imagine how devastated he must have felt, getting the answer wrong three times in front of one of the leaders of the generation?! After the exam, R’ Shteinman gave out treats to the boys for doing well on the test. When it was this boy’s turn, he didn’t anticipate a reward – moreover, he wouldn’t have been shocked to receive a few biting words of rebuke. To his surprise, R’ Shteinman handed him three candies, explaining, “You tried three times – you get one for each time you tried!!” This unexpected sensitivity made a tremendous impact on the boy! He knew full well that his performance was not up to par, and R’ Shteinman, being ever so attuned to a young child’s feelings, turned the whole situation around by rewarding him for trying as opposed to for the results! This made such a deep impression, that he remembered it many years later, even when he was far removed from Yiddishkeit. This feeling of acceptance and care was his primary association when he heard R’ Shteinman’s name. Now it should be no surprise that he agreed to meet with him, ultimately resulting in his being chozer b’tshuva (return to Yiddishkeit)! One might wonder, why was this the right way to deal with the boy? After all, he got the answers wrong to progressively-easier questions three times. Others may say “What a ‘bum’, he surely deserved a tongue-lashing or a disappointed silence at best! But, No! R’ Shteinman was wise! He was a gaon in Torah, in sensitivity, and in recognizing what Hashem truly values. We see consistency in both stories – both when dealing with the man as a struggling child, as well as a struggling adult. Rav Shteinman saw past the surface and recognized his deeper desire and commended him for it, valuing him and accepting him for what he did have and thus impacting his life forever! This is what the Torah values – our effort and our toil in Yiddishkeit – and that is a lesson to us all. It is so important for us to internalize R’ Shteinman’s outlook. To emulate his genuine ahavas yisroel, and equally important, to recognize the truth – that Hashem loves when we show our desire and loyalty to Him by exerting ourselves and even by simply trying!!! This understanding will transform the way we view ourselves, our children, students, and everyone we know. We may all be be greater successes than we realize, and capable of far more than we think, regardless of appearances—because, after all, it’s the effort that Hashem truly cherishes!

GOLDEN MEDAL

By Shmuel Tzvi Adler

We fall. We get up. Fall again. Drag ourselves up. Down. Up. Down. Up … Do our struggles even matter? What does God truly think of us when we constantly stumble, sometimes sinking deep into darkness? He must surely see only a dirty, wounded, impure individual… ABSOLUTELY NOT!  Listen to this story, which I heard from Rabbi Pinchos Novoseller (Rav, Adas Yisroel of Passaic) in the name of Reb Avrohom Mordche Malach, that shows us quite the contrary: An older bochur who struggled with shidduchim for a number of years was found by his Rebbe sitting and crying. He explained to his Rebbe that due to a gash under his eye, he was barely getting any dates, and nearly any girl who saw it ran away. He was discouraged and desperate, and felt his only option was to have plastic surgery done. His Rebbe comforted him, suggesting that surgery might be a reasonable step, but for such a major decision, he should consult a gadol—HaRav Chaim Kanievsky ztk”l. They went to Rav Chaim, who listened carefully. After hearing the story, Rav Chaim advised the boy not to proceed with the surgery. He assured the young man that he would find the right girl – someone who would appreciate him for who he is, scars and all.  Then Rav Chaim asked him two questions: 1) “Were you born with this gash?” To which the bochur replied that he was not. And 2) “Do you talk about it on your dates?” The bochur answered, “No, not only don’t I bring it up, throughout the date I try to sit in a way to make it hard for the girl to notice.” Rav Chaim responded, “From now on, I want you to do the opposite. Don’t hide the scar. Bring it up, and talk about it openly.” The bochur was extremely nervous, but he knew he had to listen. At the next date he was shaking knowing that he had Rav Chaim’s instructions to display the gash “head on.” This time he mustered his strength not to hide. To his amazement, the girl didn’t run away. When he realized she wasn’t bothered by it, he gathered the courage to ask her if she had noticed the scar. She said, “No!” Feeling more at ease, he asked if it was okay to talk about it, to which she agreed.He shared his story with her: how he was once in the Old City, and a little farther off, he saw an Arab man following a Jewish girl. The girl was initially unaware that she was being followed, but soon she became aware of the footsteps behind her. As her pursuer began walking faster, she started picking up speed as well, and the bochur saw the gap narrowing between them. The Arab got up right behind her and reached out to grab her – and the bochur, realizing that he had to act now, jumped out of his hiding place yelling loudly in Hebrew, “leave her alone!” The Arab swiveled around towards him, while in his hand he held a small knife that he had been hiding, smashing it into the yeshiva student’s face, right under his eye. By then girl managed to escape, and others had come to help. The Arab was scared away, and they quickly took the bochur to the hospital. As soon as he reached the ICU he passed out and didn’t remember a thing after that. As he told the story, the girl began to cry, slowly at first, and then with more intensity until she was sobbing. She looked at him with tears in her eyes and exclaimed, “It’s been fifteen years that my parents have been searching for the man who saved my life! We went back to the scene, but you were gone.” She was that girl! Naturally, they continued dating, and after a few dates they connected very strongly with each other. They went to Rav Chaim, who gave them his blessing, and they were ready to propose. However, on their final meeting, the bochur hesitated. He explained, “You’re marrying me now because you’re emotional and grateful to me for saving your life. But in a few years, when we have disagreements, you’ll look at me and see only the scar, and you’ll want to leave.” She looked at him and said, “You don’t understand. Most people see you as a person with a blemish – all they see is that gash; but I see it as a golden medal. You must realize that I don’t even see the gash! This is how Hashem looks at us! When we struggle and work on our weaknesses – even while we repeatedly fall, God sees the golden medal we’ve earned through our efforts towards improving ourselves. To God, what matters is that we’re striving to improve, for which He views us as heroes!! When we look at ourselves, we ought to see ourselves as that same hero, proudly grasping our golden medal!