WRITTEN BY SHMUEL T. ADLER
My grandfather (my father’s father), Mr. David Dov Adler z”l was a survivor of the holocaust. He was in the camps for the longest period of time, six years beginning from 1939 – 1945. After the war my grandfather was in a DP camp for a few years and eventually moved to the U. S., to Pittsburg, and then to Brooklyn.
While in Pittsburgh, my grandfather went to university where he received his Masters Degree. He was about to receive his PHD when due to chinuch issues he decided to move to New York. This was just ten years after he had arrived in the U.S. My grandfather was a Polish immigrant. He most probably barely spoke a word of English when he came to America. He had survived arguably the worst gehinnom in our history just a mere ten years earlier. And he lost his entire immediate family, plus. Yet, regardless of all which he went through, he persevered, pushed forward, and continued to build, so much so that he just about received a PHD.
Immediately after the war my grandfather was extremely involved with the Klausenberger Rebbe in hatzala efforts in the DP camps. My grandfather was very short, and the Klausenberger Rebbe fondly referred to him as “der Kleiner Duvidele”! The first Shabbos after the war the yidden in the camp got together to daven kabolas Shabbos. The camp was made up of a combination of religious and irreligious Jews, and while the religious Jews were trying to daven, the irreligious were playing soccer outside. The Rebbe tried a few times unsuccessfully to convince them to stop playing. Finally he approached my zeide to ask him to see what he can do. My Zeide went outside to talk to them, and a few minutes later they stopped playing ball (and I think they came and joined the davening). What did my zeide tell them? He told them, that just a mere few days ago they were all under the evil rule of Hitler and the Nazi animals Y”sh. In Hitler’s eyes, if one had the slightest amount of “Jewishness”, they were considered Jewish. It didn’t make a difference religious, irreligious, reform, conservative, Jewish mother, Jewish father, even if you were a practicing Christian for years, a drop of Jewishness considered you Jewish. My zeide told them that now, let us not need Hitler y”sh to remind us that we are all one; Religious, irreligious, lets come together and daven together and keep Shabbos as one! My grandfather’s message hit home.
My grandfather married my grandmother, Raizel Usherovitz Adler, in the DP camp. We have a copy of their plain, simple, handwritten wedding invitation. My Uncle, Shlomo Zalman Adler, was born in Germany in the DP camps. So soon after surviving such a difficult period, already he had married and begun building his family.
This is how my zeide lived his life. Move forward! Build!, Build!, and Build!
Survivors of the war were “lucky” – to survive. Even those that survived were “lucky” if they were still emotionally normal, functioning people. Not only did my grandfather survive, and not only did he come out emotionally normal, he even had the drive and presence of mind to think about and to act to begin rebuilding. Right after the war in the DP camps, he married and began building his family anew. Right after the war he was involved in the hatzolo and rebuilding of klal yisrael. Just a mere ten years after surviving the war he was practically receiving his PHD!
Contrary to what many people may think, Tisha B’Av is not a day of depression. It is a day of sadness. There is a difference. Depression is usually associated with despair and giving up. Tisha B’Av is not a day of despair and giving up. We are sad about the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash. And we are sad about all of the tzaros which happened to Klal Yisroel from then until today. But this is not reason to despair. That is because though we have fallen so far in our relationship with G-d, our relationship still exists! It says in Megillas Eicha “Haysa K’Almana” which means our relationship with G-d is like the relationship between a widow and her spouse who is no longer. The Gemara explains that our relationship with G-d is only like a widow, but we are not actually widowed. We still have some relationship with G-d. Tisha B’Av is a day for reflecting on what our relationship with G-d was, and what it is now, and trying to see what we can do to build it back up. It is a time for teshuva and rebuilding.
We all experience challenges and difficulty in our lives. When a challenge is really difficult, one threatens to be totally drowned by the challenge. It is difficult to even think about rebuilding during or even after one experienced a difficult challenge. We are all human and it is dangerous for one not to allow oneself to give space to one’s emotions. However, as hard as it may be; and trust me, it is very hard!; when we are able, we must reflect on the challenge and amidst our reflection lay seeds for moving on in the future. As we deal with our difficulty, we must at least think about rebuilding. The right time to rebuild may not be until later on, but amidst our pain we must think about it; how we can grow from the experience; how we can use our experience to help others; how we can strengthen our relationships; how we can move on and build forward. We must not despair and give up! And there is a great personal benefit to this. Giving or thinking about others gives tremendous satisfaction to oneself. And plus, no matter how bad your situation can be, there are always others who can benefit from just a simple hello or smile. Mrs. Rein* had already been through a close to a year and a half roller coaster with her child in the hospital in serious condition. Yet, one day she was discussing her situation with a friend. In the same breath that she was telling over her own story. She told her friend about the other woman she had just met in the hospital who was in dire need of support as well.
There is so much pain and difficulty in this world. This is what Klal Yisrael needs. This is what we all need.
*names changed for privacy
L’zchus Refua Sheleima Yehoshua Ben Nechama Aliza; L’iluy Nishmas Chaim Pinchos ben Yaakov Yitzchok