Editorial

By Shmuel Tzvi Adler

The pressure! The tension! Waking up with a sense that you have to force yourself throughout the day to fulfill various mitzvos. Have you ever felt that way? I know I have. But is that how it’s meant to be? ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Most of us are acquainted with Shlomo Hamelech’s description of Torah: “Deracheha darchei noam,” (Mishlei 3:17) – the principle that [the Torah’s] ways are meant to be pleasant. Following the Torah and performing mitzvos should be pleasant and enjoyable, not a stressful burden! The gemara in Succah (32a) quotes this verse to explain why the Torah wouldn’t ask of us to use a palm shoot branch that has bristles as the lulav – because it could hurt a person. Clearly our being comfortable is paramount in God’s eyes.  Let’s put this into perspective. There is a another well-known phrase with profound significance that often flies under the radar: In Mesilas Yesharim, the Ramchal  begins by saying, “yesod hachasidus veshoresh havaoda – It is incumbent on each and every one of us to clarify and realize as fact, what our obligations are in this world, and where we need to focus and aspire towards in all that we do throughout our lives.” Why is that the most important? Shouldn’t the most important thing simply be about the performance of as many mitzvos as possible? Here we are being told  that it’s actually awareness and clarity about our role in life which is the most crucial component to serving Hashem properly. It can be a great challenge: Countless contradictory ideas can enter an individual’s head, with competing thoughts as to the correct path in avodas Hashem. Moreover, one can be surrounded by people who are going about doing mitzvos in various ways, yet they may not be the right ways. The aforementioned idea of deracheha darchei noam, not becoming overwhelmed and stressed with spirituality throughout our day, is a prime example of this. If we contemplate what Chazal tell us, we will realize that proper ruchniyus is and should be pleasant. This potential confusion is often allowed to go on unchecked in our lives, and receives way too little airtime in our yeshivos, but the fact remains that serving Hashem is meant to be enjoyable! Period!

If a person finds they are not enjoying their Yiddishkeit, they are quite literally on the wrong path – they’re quintessentially “off the derech”!! (This is not to say that Yiddishkeit is “easy” – following the Torah can be challenging – but this is not a contradiction to it being simultaneously challenging and enjoyable.) If someone is on the wrong path, it behooves them to rethink their approach and strategy, and seek guidance from a competent Rav, so that they can learn how to more enjoy their Yiddishkeit properly. To take this idea a step further, during the month of Nisan when it is customary to say birchas ilanos, we say “. . . u’bara bo briyos tovos v’ilanos tovos lehanos bahem bnei adam”. Hashem made good creations and good trees so that mankind can have pleasure from them. Clearly from this blessing we can extrapolate that the goodness God created is truly there to be enjoyed. It is not meant for us to ignore and pretend as if it doesn’t exist. Hashem actually wants us to enjoy gashmiyus (with the right balance, of course)!

“Derech eretz kadma l’Torah,” may be one of the most well-known statements of Chazal.  Whereas the quote is usually understood to mean that having proper ethics (derech eretz) is a prerequisite to learning Torah, my rabbeim (primarily Harav Beryl Weisbord, mashgiach of Yeshivas Ner Yisrael in Baltimore) taught me a novel, yet life-changing, understanding. The words “derech eretz” can refer to the natural, emotionally healthy state of a person. Meaning that an individual’s emotional wellbeing has foremost importance in Hashem’s eyes – coming even before the Torah! It is incumbent on us to first make sure we are happy, healthy, emotional beings. That is step number one, and with that foundation in place, then we can build ever higher and grow in Torah.

The message is quite clear: Authentic Judaism is beautiful. It must be so. If we are feeling pressure, stressed or miserable as a result of doing mitzvos then we are not practicing authentic Judaism and it is not what God intended. We must stop and reroute. Only if we enjoy Judaism will we fully be able connect to the tremendous potential and benefits that lies within; only avodas Hashem with joy will pour over to our children, students, and peers. And if God desires that we enjoy life, who wouldn’t want that?!

The Immense BEAUTY of the Days of Judgement

by Rabbi Avrohom E. Adler

An image of a severe, punitive, or harsh king, preparing to mete out punishment to his subjects, may be a common perception of Hashem during Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. After all, aren’t these ‘days of awe and judgment’? And we know that we all have our fair share of indiscretions and iniquities deserving of retribution. But this cannot be accurate. The tefilos we recite tell a different story: We speak of, “Hashem, God who is merciful and kind, both before and after we sin.” He is “slow to anger.” “Hashem sits on His throne of mercy, acting with kindness, forgiving the sins of his people, removing them one by one…” These descriptions of Hashem’s abundant mercy and loving consideration sound more appropriate for days of joy and positivity. It may be hard to believe then, that these lines have a prominent place in the text at our Elul and Yamim Nora’aim davening! The aforementioned phrases are selected from the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy as well as from “Keil Melech Yoshaiv al Kisei Rachamim,” the paragraph preceding each occasion that we recite those Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. These tefillos paint a picture of Avinu Malkeinu, a tremendously loving and benevolent Father who, though His children may have sinned and strayed, created the miracle of repentance – eagerly awaiting their return, and he is ‘seeking’ out ways to pardon them. And should punishment indeed be necessary, it is meted out with the internal pain of a deeply caring parent who disciplines His dear child out in the recognition that it is in the child’s best interest.

I once read a fascinating article about a non-Jewish couple who were deeply impressed by Judaism and inspired by the meaning and fulfillment that keeping Torah and Mitzvos provides. They were seriously contemplating conversion, but they were plagued by the following: As much as they were in love with Yiddishkeit and were prepared to keep it to its fullest, they were worried about what would happen if they slipped up – after all, they’re only human. The concept of schar v’onesh felt daunting, and they couldn’t help but worry about the risk of messing up, and then – ‘Yikes! – ‘Out comes the rod!’ But as they learned more and more about the true Torah outlook, they discovered that they had nothing to worry about. Yes, Yidden mess up, but that doesn’t mean that we’re doomed. There is always a way back through the constantly accessible mitzva of teshuva, as well as the facts of the aforementioned description of Hashem’s loving and caring system of compassionate justice! That’s all they needed to hear, and they excitedly proceeded with their long-awaited conversion.

Yes, keeping Torah and Mitzvos is a tremendous responsibility, and we must face the consequences of our actions. There is a judgment and, as said in Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur davening, there is a trepidation. The ruler of the world is actively determining “mi yichye u’mi yamus….” It most definitely must be taken seriously. At the same time, it is all with a recognition that it is our indescribably loving Father who is at the head of this system, and it is carried out with the greatest care and concern possible. He is doing what is best for us, and He knows what He is doing!!!

Yes, if given a choice, a logical thinking person will choose Yiddishkeit with all it encompasses, a life of Torah and Mitzvos is the most amazing life out there, including its judgment and punishment, knowing that ‘Avinu Av HaRachaman’ has us covered!!

Ashamnu (ouch!) – STAY AWAY from Guilt!!

By Dov Razel

Wait, did you read that right?! You mean we are not supposed to feel guilty, as if we are total and utter garbage every time we do something wrong? Isn’t the climax of Yom Kippur striking our chest (ouch!) while saying “ashamnu – we are guilty”? Indeed, you read the headline right. HaRav Shmuel Yaakov Weinberg ztk”l shared a ‘mind altering’ yesod – that guilt is not a Jewish attribute. In fact, it’s not even a healthy emotion. To give this some context, there are two types of emotions that guilt can be used to refer to. The most common type of guilt is when after doing something wrong a person feels worthless, tearing themselves apart inside. This proceeds to snowball, and makes them feel like an absolute rasha inside and out. The general outcome of this is to drive the individual towards doing even more aveiros because they feel so empty and awful about themselves. It certainly does not help whatsoever in guiding a person towards gaining any growth from the experience. This type of guilt is obviously counterproductive and not healthy, and this is was what Rav Weinberg described as an ‘unJewish attribute’. On the other hand, if someone feels, let us call it ‘remorse,’ – a sense of constructive regret for mistakes they’ve made, that propels them forward and brings them to a steadfast commitment to learn from those mistakes and improve in a healthy way, that is the “ashamnu” which we declare during the viduy prayer. This carries with it feelings of positivity and a happiness generated by a sincere desire to be better. In truth, “ashamnu” is not meant to hurt too much!

A close friend of mine from our yeshiva days who grew up in a small community, went through the yeshiva system for many years, and eventually, sadly, went ‘off the derech.’ He claimed that there were certain questions in emuna that bothered him, which were the primary catalyst in distancing him from remaining religious. I felt that the best thing I could do to help him would be to try to maintain our connection despite our different beliefs; after all, he was still a friend of mine. I kept philosophical or theological discussions off the table, and we had many pleasant conversations about work, family, and life in general. At one point he mentioned that every year when it came Rosh Hashana time, he got filled with a torturous guilt about the things he did wrong and the questions he had, which was very difficult for him to handle. His words confirmed what I suspected, that it is not primarily his questions in emuna, rather it is these feelings of guilt which caused him to leave the fold (though I did not tell this to him). This story shows clearly how so very destructive misguided feelings of guilt can be, and the deep wisdom of Rav Weinberg in declaring that these are not a Jewish attribute. Only truly valuing ourselves and those around us will result in true growth.

Ohh maan! . . . Elul is coming!

by Shmuel Tzvi Adler

Please no! Not this time of year again. Many of us can relate to the feeling of dread. Our simchas hachayim drains right out of us. We feel surrounded by an unpleasant air of uncomfortable pressure, which we do our best to push off as long as possible — until we’re forced to face it (or do our best to ignore it) once chodesh elul comes around. Well, it does not need to be this way. Indeed, it is not meant to be this way!

I heard directly from the Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisroel of Baltimore, HaRav Aharon Feldman shlit”a , that in our generation we are not on the level to connect with the “awe” that they felt back in Europe; rather, we ought to be focusing on the happiness of these times!

A close friend of mine, Reb Mordechai Salzberg from Yeshivas Toras Chaim of Baltimore, showed me a monumental video clip of Rav Yehuda Mandel shlit”a speaking about the avoda of Elul. He related that one time, people saw Rav Yisroel Salanter shmoozing away, chilling and joking with another Jew during Elul. Later, they approached him and asked how could it be that he was acting so seemingly frivolously during such a serious time. He responded, “the fellow that I was speaking with couldn’t handle the awesomeness of Elul, so I was connecting to him on a level that he could relate to.”

That’s a story that happened over one hundred years ago. This eye-opening incident echoes what HaRav Feldman said: Hashem does not demand that we attempt to be who we aren’t. For many, if not everyone, it is extremely difficult to function within that pressurized Elul atmosphere of old. Moreover, it is demonstrably detrimental for many, and the unpleasantness makes it even harder for so many people to work on themselves. That’s why it really is crucial for us to recognize what the Rosh Yeshiva shlit”a said: Nowadays we are not meant to shoot up the intensity on overdrive during the High Holiday season.  To quote Rav Yehuda Mandel, a person should behave as if the entire Elul is Purim, if that is what he needs! And not only is it allowed, carrying oneself in this manner is “the biggest teshuva a person can do!”

For those of us who feel like going to sleep from now until Succos (myself among them), these words are for you! There is no reason to go to sleep. Our mood should be just as happy now as it is when Purim approaches – perhaps even happier than Purim because now we get even extra reward. Hashem is ten million times closer to us at this time!

(If someone still feels a strong desire to on some level connect to the “pachad hadin” this writer humbly suggests based on advice he received from his rebbe, Rabbi Nachum Salb shlit”a, many years ago – to save the seriousness for private brief moments such as at some point by shmoneh esrei, during shema koleinu, or the like.)

Rav Shlomo Wolbe says if a person thinks about being happy because Hashem is King when they hear the shofar on Rosh Hashana, they will be zoche to everything! Do not allow yourself to become overwhelmed during these days – It is not what God wants! Quite the contrary, continues Rav Mandel, (quoted verbatim)  “Hashem wants positivism. Have a good time! Enjoy yourself! Have a blast!”