WRITTEN BY SHMUEL T. ADLER

Stress is like a cobra.

 It creeps on a person and can strike suddenly without warning. One may not even notice it’s there until it’s right in one’s face; even then it can be hard to tell where it came from. It can cause lots of pain; it coils, reaching to all different parts of the body. It strangles the person. It has the power to be debilitating.

Stress is an extreme emotional discomfort but it has a great physical toll on a person as well.

This physical affect creeps on the person and strikes suddenly without warning. It is difficult to tell when stress is physically affecting a person, until it is too late. It does not warn a person and say “Hi, I’m coming to get you!”

Often, whether in caring for a loved one or for some other reason, people continue and continue to push themselves. They tell themselves that they feel fine, and that they are not getting affected by their exertion. But they can’t even tell that they are emotionally stressed. And meanwhile the emotional stress is continuously building physical turmoil in their body. This physical turmoil eventually suddenly just pops out with a bang; striking like a cobra. The person may have no idea where these physical symptoms are coming from. But they are slowly growing in the body while the person is over-exerting themselves. The more the person exerts themselves the more, unknowingly, the physical pressure grows. And finally the pressure grows to be just too much.

Stress can affect a person physically in different ways. It can depend on what particular stress the symptoms are reacting to. Stress can cause headaches, backaches, pain in the neck and shoulders, or aches in the legs and feet. It can cause rashes. It will also make other issues such as a cold or a sinus infection seem much worse than they are.

 If a person is thinking too intensely or they are looking at something very intently, then after a while this can cause them great stress headaches. Many taxi drivers in Israel told me that they hate their job because they always get headaches from having to constantly focus intently on the road.

People who are too self-conscience may find that their neck hurts them more than usual. This is because whenever another person looks at them, their neck muscles tense up because they are nervous about what the other is thinking about them, and after a while it begins to hurt from the stress.

Someone who lifts heavy things and they are not careful to make sure they aren’t lifting things which are too heavy for them will eventually have extreme back pain. A caterer who is on his feet all day, and is constantly under pressure to get meals out at a certain time, will feel extra pain in their legs and feet; unless they are careful to work a bit slower and relax their feet when they need. Back pain and leg pain and other physical pain can come naturally because one is doing physical activities which are taxing; however if one is stressed and pressured while doing it then this will cause the pain to be so much greater.

All too often people are in a rush, and while driving many people tend to drive as fast as legally allowed if not more. They constantly try to change lanes and pass cars that are going a bit slower, in order to try to reach their destination quicker. Some people actually enjoy speeding like this. For others, this unknowingly can cause a lot of unnecessary pressure in their head, because of the extra focus needed to avoid other cars and stay in between the lines. A person’s natural instinct may be to drive in this manner because they are in a rush they feel the pressure to try to speed things up. However one must ask, does one really reach their destination that much quicker if they are going five or even ten miles faster? Is the stress and pressure all that worth it? If one can actually grab control of their instincts they may find that if they try to drive only eight miles over the speed limit instead of fifteen miles over, in the bigger picture this may be very beneficial to their quality of life. Although they may reach their destination seven minutes later their lives may become more relaxed and then happier because of this small change in their habit.

The way the body works is that the human body is made to endure a certain amount of physical stress and pressure. When a person experiences too much mental stress then that creates physical stress and pressure on the person’s body. If after some time they relax themselves then their body can refresh and is then able to withstand some more stress and pressure. If they don’t relax then the stress and pressure build up in the body until it becomes too much. The body slowly tenses up; be it in the head, shoulders, neck, or other area and this causes those body parts to hurt.

Hillel* was very excited about his graduation from learning in high school to learning in yeshiva. He began the year learning with a feeling of freshness and vigor. He enjoyed his learning and every morning he jumped out of bed and ran to the Beis Medrash. His vigor brought him to become very intense about his learning. He pushed himself to stay in the Beis Medrash as much as he was able, and even if he didn’t feel well, he kept up his regular schedule without letting up. His first year in Yeshiva passed and he felt on a high; and then came his second year. Once again he began his second year of learning with freshness – and the same intensity as the year before.

After several months Hillel began feeling periodic headaches as he learnt. Then it gradually turned into a nightly experience. Every night at around eight Hillel felt as if his brain shut off. The pain in his head felt comparable to being hit in the head by a bowling ball. He had trouble concentrating and he couldn’t focus well on his learning. Despite all this Hillel did not realize anything was wrong and continued pushing himself to learn as usual. He prided himself on the fact that he could persevere even with the pain!

With luck one of his Rabbeim realized what was happening and told him he had to stop! He was shocked! He had trouble even considering the idea of lessening his intense learning schedule. Luckily, after more than one Rebbe talked to him about it, he realized that they were right, and that he had to slow down.

He began slowly getting used to the idea of taking breaks and if he wasn’t feeling well he lightened his schedule.

After some time in this manner Hillel thought he was done with dealing with stress and being too intense. After all, his headaches had diminished. Although he still took breaks periodically, his natural tendency took over once again and he again returned to his former intensity. Hillel reasoned with himself that his headaches were considerably less than before, so he must not be over-pushing himself.

But he was mistaken. Because a few months later he started feeling tremendous pressure and strain in his back and shoulders. Of course at first he denied it had anything to do with his intensity. It wasn’t headaches, so it couldn’t be from stress. But he could not deny it for long. After fighting with himself time and time again, slowly it hit him that he really did feel a lot of pressure. He was truly stressed from his intensity, and most probably the pain and discomfort in his back and shoulders were from that. Once again he was forced to take stock of his situation. By now he was able to realize and decide on his own that he had to let loose more and relax more.

It took Hillel a long time, a few years, but eventually he became much more adept at equalizing himself and breaking when he needed.

When one has a sick relative in the hospital they constantly have to rush around, in addition to having to make important, life-saving decisions. Top that off with the extreme lack of sleep which usually hangs around closely to situations such as this. The emotional and physical pressure this entails is tremendous. After a while they will very likely hurt all over. They may not realize it at first; they make feel as if they are sick; but a lot of the time it is just reactions from the over-powering amount of stress which they are forced to deal with.

Taking periodic breathers can help them refresh themselves thus easing the pain and revitalizing themselves so that they can be better prepared for whatever the future may bring. These breaks are vital for their ability to properly deal with the complicated situations which come up.

Additionally, if a person is able to keep calm and relaxed in a situation such as this, it can do a lot more then just avoiding the pain which stress brings with it. This enables one to have so much more control over the situation.

When one is trying to sing in a strong voice the natural tendency is to push and strain ones vocal chords to produce a nice, loud sound. However a professional vocalist knows the best way to produce a beautiful sound is by relaxing one’s vocal chords as much as possible. When a singer relaxes his vocal chords he is able to have much more control over his voice enabling him to sound nicer and also it enables him to alternate to reach different notes much easier.

Different people get stressed out more easily than others. Some have a natural tendency to get stressed and some are somehow able to stay calm during the most stressful times. Everyone at some point in their lives gets worked up and stressed over something.

It is difficult for practically everyone in the world to admit that they are stressed. However that difficulty may be the biggest preventative for one to properly deal with their stress and stop it from having a detrimental effect on them.

Only once one can bring themselves to admit that they are stressed, and then find out what it is that is really stressing them, could they properly deal with it. And if one pushes it off for too long then it will come back to haunt them. The more one pushes it off the worse the effects it could have, as we just mentioned previously.

Stress can be an extremely dangerous and witty enemy. However after first admitting the problem, and then with proper work and planning, one can vanquish it. This will have a life-altering effect not only on them but on everyone around them.

 

In the next article we will talk about ways to help vanquish stress.

* names changed for privacy

L’zchus Refua Sheleima Yehoshua Ben Nechama Aliza; L’iluy Nishmas Chaim Pinchos ben Yaakov Yitzchok