WRITTEN BY SHMUEL T. ADLER
THE MOST DANGEROUS WEAPON
If we look at the pesukim which we say in kabolas shabbos before lecha dodi, we see painted an entirely different picture of the Yomim Noraim then many of us imagine. The pesukim describe nature’s reaction to Hashem becoming King, and the Yom HaDin; and they discuss nature rejoicing, dancing and singing!! No emphasis on feeling stress, fear, or dread! This opens to us an entirely new view to these days. Though there is an aspect of fear to be had, there is a tremendous aspect of happiness and joy! As a matter of fact, I heard HaRav Aharon Feldman shlit”a say once in a shmooze that in our generation our avoda during Elul should be focused on feeling this joy and happiness!!! Elul, Rosh Hashana, and Yo”K are all about Hashem being King, and there is a very large aspect of happiness to this.
Here is an additional idea regarding our focus during these days. The posuk says “VaYehi B’Yishurun Melech B’Hisaseif Rashei Am Yachad SHivtei Yisroel”. I heard an explanation that this posuk is telling us, when is G-d’s Kingdom and Kingship complete? – Only when the Jewish Nation is gathered together as one! This is telling us a message – that regardless of what level we are each on, there is one theme which sticks out which we must focus on; and this is that all of the Jews try to band together as one; when we are all together, and we have achdus with each other, then G-d’s malchus is complete – because His nation is complete as one.
Let’s combine these 2 ideas together. During these days, our focus should be on coming together. How can we do that – by being friendly to each other and by caring about one another. When there is love amongst us, this will create a tremendous feeling of happiness – for everyone. No one wants to feel alone or forgotten. When we smile at one another and are nice to each other this will enable us to all join into a single cohesive nation; and it will engender a happiness which will build itself up inside of everyone of us. This will then enable G-d’s reign to be complete; we will be a nation complete, happy in the coronation of our King.
How can we go about doing this? Though our minds may convince us that it is really hard, in truth it really takes just a little effort on our part and we can really make a difference in the lives of those around us; we can make other people’s lives happier; and at times our simple kind words or deeds can literally change and save another’s life. Our actions and words, for good and for bad, can do so much more than any of us imagine. As the following, very poignant and sharp stories portray, a simple nice deed or kind word can really save another person’s life; and unfortunately if we are not extremely careful with this, very frightening, terrible things can happen.
I will write the sad story first. Some of you may have heard this story before. Regardless, if I was able to I would go out in the streets and scream this story so that it would echo and echo in the minds and hearts of the entire world to hear.
This is the story of a young, frum girl, named Malky Klein a”h. Horrifyingly, Malky died in her young twenties, from a drug over-dose. This is tragic. What’s even more tragic, are the steps which led up over the years, to bring this tragedy about. The story obviously spans more than this article will relate, however there are 2 parts of this story that in Malky Kleins a”h own words, led up to her untimely, heartbreaking, passing. What she said is mind-numbing. When Malky was in 2nd grade, she was a very friendly girl, but she was not an over-achiever like her siblings; and not entirely keeping up with the other girls in her class. One day, in front of the entire class, Malky’s teacher announced “you belong in 1st grade”! This humiliating comment, announced publicly in front of her entire class, totally and utterly ruined Malky;s self-image. And then several years later, Malky is applying for high-school. To start, she got rejected from all of her first-choice high schools which she had preferred to go to. But what totally vanquished any ounce of spirit left in her was when a “second-choice” high school agreed to accept her; and then at the end of the summer they let her parents know that she was “unaccepted”. Her parents literally tried everything, even going as far as waiting outside the principal’s home at six in the morning – because the principal was ignoring their phone calls and their pleas – to ensure they get to beseech the principal directly. After this Malky felt like a total, worthless piece of garbage. Malky testified herself that it was these occurrences which completely crushed and ruined any chance of self-respect which she may have had; thus causing her to eventually turn to drugs, which in turn led to her horrific, tragic, untimely death.
Here is the second story – which shows just so beautifully and clearly how great a nice deed and kind word can be – how it can uplift another person and really save a life.
We’ll call him Jake; Jake was walking home from high-school and what seemed like all of his school books were piled up in his hands. (This was very unusual, as most students do not take home all of their school books during the school year). Michael, a fellow student from Jake’s class, was going jogging, when he saw Jake coming towards him. Jake had a reputation amongst his classmates of being an introvert, a sort of spaced-out genius; he was constantly made fun of, and did not have any friends. As such, Michael, who was popular and well respected in the class, had no intention of interacting with Jake as they passed each other. But then Michael saw a few other boys who were standing around, run over to Jake and knock everything out of his hands, books, glasses, and all. The boys ran off and Jake was left all alone, humiliated, struggling just to find his glasses. Michael’s heart went out for his classmate, and on the spot he made a change of plans – stopping his jog to go over and help Jake find his glasses and gather his books. Turning to Jake, Michael commiserated with him, saying how awful what these boys did was, and proceeded to help Jake pull himself back together. This began a friendship between the two which lasted throughout their high-school years, until it was time for graduation. At this point, Jake’s esteem in the eyes of his peers had risen, and by graduation time Jake was chosen valedictorian of his class. The day came, and Jake approached the podium to speak, facing the entire auditorium. He began by saying that at this time one generally thanks everyone who helped bring them to what they were today. Jake thanked his teachers and parents, but then told everyone listening that it is impossible to underestimate the role one’s friends play in making them who they are. Jake proceeded to tell over the story of that day four years ago when he was walking home, his hands filled with all of his school books when the boys came and knocked him down. Why was he carrying of all his school books home that day? He told the stunned audience, that things had gotten so bad from all the taunting and being made fun from his classmates, that that day he decided to end it all. He did not want his mother to have to clean out his locker after he took his own life; so he emptied his locker himself. Jake related that he had a shotgun in his room at home, and he was planning on using the gun on himself that night. The friendliness and warmth which Michael had displayed to him that day, gave him a glimmer of hope and a new lease on life; and it is directly because of that kindness that he was there standing alive and successful, in front of everyone that day.
We must be so careful with what we say or do. Words and deeds can make and break; they are so powerful; they can literally utterly crush a person; or they can have the awesome power of building, and even saving a life.
G-d bentched us; our dear little beloved son Yehoshualeh is lying in a hospital room, extremely limited in many areas; with time iy”H he will grow more and more. However there is one area in which Yehoshua’s shine bursts all boundaries; his bright, loveable smile envelops all who enters his room; his deep happiness despite all he went through changes anyone’s bad day into a bright one (I am telling you this from my many personal experiences!). With all of our dear Yehoshualehs limitations, G-d gave him this beautiful power to lighten people’s lives and change their sadness to happiness.
We all have considerably much more abilities than Yehoshua has. Let us learn from him to use our power of speech and deed, to brighten the lives of others, to be friendly and giving to them, to truly love one another, and to thereby create ourselves into the single unified nation which will make the Kingdom of G-d, our dear Father who loves us, to be truly whole and complete once more.
L’zchus Refua Sheleima Yehoshua Ben Nechama Aliza; L’iluy Nishmas Chaim Pinchos ben Yaakov Yitzchok
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